And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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