He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
