but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
