I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize