those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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