OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
