you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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