My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize