Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
