Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chlamydia really affected his face.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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