her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Acid is not a monday night drug
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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