He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
