Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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