so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
