so explain again why im purple
no
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
