last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Boobs speak an international language.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
