yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
