official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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