I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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