While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
time to smoke my breakfast
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
