someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize