I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
