maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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