You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
