this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
