So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize