Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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