I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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