She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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