I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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