what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
