does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize