I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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