Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
