That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize