Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
