I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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