She's JV to your varsity
Yo dont text me then not text me
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
