now i know why i became what i already was.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
