He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My sheets look like a crime scene.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize