I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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