okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
