We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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