Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
