I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
