PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
They are going to name an STD after you.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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