Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
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Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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