hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
