when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So squirting runs in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize