I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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