found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't want my vagina anymore.