I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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