And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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