dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
