i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
