I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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