So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
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he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
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All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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