WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize