She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
