but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
